Courage Is Contagious – Lessons from the Million Mask March

Here’s one of the best videos I’ve seen explaining what the Million Mask March is all about…it’s a must-watch piece of Gonzo journalism…

You can expect us to win the war…

On November 5, 2013, Anonymous organized the first annual worldwide event dubbed the Million Mask March. Protests and demonstrations were organized and held in major cities worldwide, garnering the attention of the global media. On the surface it may seem that the march had little effect on the US, but it’s the mark of a new beginning…and a march in the right direction.

While the real life Anon-inspired DDoS tactic that was the Million Mask March didn’t strike fear into the hearts of those in charge, there are valuable lessons to be learned about how to organize a peaceful worldwide revolution. Data, perspectives and government responses have been tested.

The Million Mask March wasn’t the revolution…it was just a test of an emergency broadcast system in place for the protection of the world’s citizens during the revolution…any nonviolent revolution…

Anonymous is a whistle any individual can blow on any power in the entire world…

 

Anons across London…

They Expect Us…

 

First and foremost, let’s pat ourselves on the back as a society. On a day where everyone should have been busy voting for governors, playing Call of Duty: Ghosts, and bumping The Marshall Mathers LP 2, an actual worldwide event did happen. The numbers in each city ranged from dozens to thousands, which lessened the physical appearance, but the impact was very much the same.

 

#AnonLove

Much like the Million Man March before it, the Million Mask March inspired an entire generation to stand up in the streets and be irreverent in the face of any power that tries to impede on our freedom. It also gave the entire world a deadline…it’ll keep happening every year and get stronger and stronger until the entire populace outside of the government has joined…and at that point, the Anonymous hivemind will outnumber, overpower, and overwhelm any and all corrupt government machines.
The veil of transparency will always prevail…

Anonymous has been in Katy Perry’s pants…have you?

Same Team, New Uniform…

 

Protesters at the inaugural Million Mask March were careful to be nonviolent at all times. While there may have been the occasional scuffle at the hands of violent law enforcement responses, Anonymous was largely able to demonstrate peace, despite many documented government infiltrators attempting to stir the pot. While governments want us to believe being Anonymous is akin to being a terrorist, I believe we all deserve to choose our own individual levels of privacy. Anonymous is as American as it gets.

Anonymous has grown from the human consciousness to replace that dream everyone once had about America. Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream should have already come true by now, but the corruption in our supposedly democratic government has impeded our progress as a human race. Anonymous represents everything I grew up believing America did: freedom, happiness, equality…there’s a reason Guy Fawkes is always smiling…

Another Anonymous Recruitment facility has been located by the government…

Barbarians at the Roman Gates…

 

Although the Million Mask March didn’t put an Anon on any throne of humanity (that we know of), it proved there is an active peaceful resistance with supporters all over the world. It showed our numbers reach into each and every city in the world. There are too many of us spread out in too many places for an organized gustapo-style simultaneous raid on all of us. Too many of us have the keys to the store, and we move and make decisions much faster than any corporation or government.

 

The Million Mask March was nothing more than the beginning of organized protests. It’s not a failed AnonOps because people didn’t storm the White House. It’s a successful AnonOps because people began to test the boundaries. Look at it this way – people who have never before been a part of a protest now have one under their belts. In addition, all across the world, people streamed first-person perspectives so that any imaginative or rambunctious youth can experience a protest simulator better than any combat simulator the military spent billions on. Wise Anons such as myself are staying up late every night studying the footage and documenting the police response.

 

Humanity is a Hivemind…and We Just Wanna Have Fun…

 

Russell Brand gets it…

 

DeadMau5 gets it…

My name is Brian Penny…I’m a grown man still impressed by a Twitter s/o from a DJ…

Do you get it yet?

 

Want to learn more about Anonymous? Check out: The Art of Trolling…

 
Brian Penny is a former business analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower and freelance writer. He’s a frequent contributor to Mainstreet, Lifehack, and HardcoreDroid and an affiliate of Manduka and Tazo. He documents his experiences working with Anonymous, practicing yoga, and fighting the banks on his blog.

How to Access Blocked Sites with VPN’s and Proxies

When I was a kid, you had to be plugged into a wall outlet to use the Internet. Having a laptop was no fun, because the best you could do was plug a public ethernet cable into it. The things can’t run the games a desktop can, and their shelf life and upgradability (or, rather, lack thereof) made them a poor computing choice.

When Life Hands You Lemons

These days, free WiFi is a lot more prolific than it was back then, as universities, municipalities, and corporations scramble to provide connectivity on the go. High-speed wireless Internet access has become to brick-and-mortar businesses what water and lemon wedges are to the restaurant industry.

McDonald’s, Burger King, and Starbucks have it, so do Home Depot, Lowe’s, Safeway, Barnes & Noble, Marriott and Hilton (for club members), and a variety of bars, diners, grocery stores, and other establishments (though not Wal-Mart). If you’re in America and don’t live within 100 miles of one of these places, tell no one, lest they build one.

AT&T has been around the block, getting customer-accessible WiFi into the hands of major businesses. Over the last few months alone, I noticed McDonald’s upgrading from default Waypoints to McDonald’s Free WiFi networks. Home Depot and Safeway are still on the default networks, but they’ve been quickly implementing rules to block file sharing sites.

The Problem With Public Connections

 

It always feels like somebody’s watching me…

I’ve been in this game long enough to know you don’t care about online security, and I’d waste my time convincing you of the many vulnerabilities because it just isn’t important to you.

An issue that’s come up you may be interested in (aside from speed, as YouTube and Netflix can be choppy), is these networks appear to be running behind proxies that Hulu can’t recognize for advertising purposes.

It’s nice to know these megacorporations are protecting my privacy against the Internet, but I’d still prefer a bit more club card data transparency instead.

In order to enjoy a free Internet on these free public WiFi networks, you’ll need to run a VPN or proxy. It may take a minute to set up, but once you get used to it, you’ll soon be accessing The Pirate Bay or whatever blocked sites you want, from anywhere.

This promo ad gives you the basic idea…

Differences Between VPN and Proxy

Ok, so a VPN is proxy, but a proxy is not a VPN, much like how many companies outsource, but not all outsourcing is off-shoring. If I need to dumb it down more, all Justin Beibers are douchebags, but not all douchebags are Justin Beiber.

The difference is with a proxy, you’re rerouting your web traffic through someone else’s network. It’s similar in function to a cloud service. Imagine a proxy as cloud-based Internet. In doing this, the network you’re on (McDonald’s, for example) will only see you sending data back and forth to this proxy address. The proxy will allow you to access most sites, except Hulu. For Hulu, you need a VPN.

A VPN is a proxy server you set up within your home network. If you have a home desktop (or, even better, server) that’s always on, you can reroute all your traffic through that. This is the most secure option, as you’re in complete control of your own security, however proxies are still quite useful, and can be used in conjunction (creating a string effect, like you see in those spy movies when they trace a call).

Quick and Easy Software

For a good proxy program, I use HMA! (stands for Hide My Ass!) Pro VPN. The $11.95 monthly fee is the only online subscription I pay for on the road. There’s no need for Netflix and Hulu when you’ve unlocked God Mode on the Internet.

To set up a VPN, I wrote a handy guide on HuffPost a while back.

Once you have the hang of these programs, there’s nothing you can’t access on the Internet, whether you’re at home, school, work, or on the go. I’ve been on the road for the better part of three years and have been surfing the net my whole life. If there are any topics you’d like to know more about in future posts, let me know in the comments below…

Brian Penny is a former Operations Manager and Business Analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower. He’s a frequent contributor to The Street, Huffington Post, Cannabis Now, and Fast Company.

I’m a Bank Whistleblower, and You Can Be Too

Nearly an hour into this week’s Presidential debate, Republican candidate Mitt Romney made a very disturbing statement that the media overlooked, focusing instead on the shiny object he waved in front of us. When Jim Lehrer questioned Romney on the Dodd-Frank Act, Romney responded, “I would repeal it and replace it.” While the media is busy reporting on Romney’s apparent flip-flop on banking regulation, they’re ignoring the heart of the matter: Dodd-Frank provides very important protections and incentives for financial whistleblowers who can become millionaires for reporting the truth about where they work.

The problem the financial industry has is not with government regulation. Regardless of which candidate wins this election, the government is not likely to enforce any real regulations against the banks. The real issue they have is that we, the people, are empowered by Dodd-Frank to take matters into our own hands. When every employee of the bank is encouraged to speak up about fraudulent activities they see, the “too big to fail” banks are left with no place to hide their wrong doings. They can lobby and throw money at politicians, but they can’t fool all of their employees all of the time. Romney wants to repeal this law because it is a powerful weapon that evens the playing field in this class war we are entrenched in.

I don’t make these statements from the same ivory tower Romney and Obama inhabit. I’m just a poor college student with no health care who walks and takes the bus everywhere. I sleep on the floor of a small apartment in a low class neighborhood because it’s all I can afford. My life wasn’t always this way though…

Five years ago when the economy was on the verge of collapse and the housing crisis was in its infancy stages, I worked for a large mortgage company called Countrywide Home Loans. I didn’t just work with CHL loans though. I worked in insurance and foreclosure tracking for multiple lenders, including IndyMac Bank (now known as IndyMac Federal) and Aurora Loan Services (a subsidiary of Lehman Brothers Holdings). When my company collapsed, my job and way of life was saved when a large multinational bank named Bank of America stepped in to purchase Countrywide. After watching the value of our 401k and employee stock accounts collapse, my colleagues and I were relieved to be given the opportunity to continue working and providing for our families by the Bank of Opportunity themselves.

My enthusiasm did not last long, however. While working for Countrywide, my job was to fix problems, and being an ethical and moral person, I lacked the ability to distinguish between problems that saved/made the bank money and problems that saved borrowers money. A problem is a problem and a discrepancy is a discrepancy. I have been asked to perform many duties during my tenure with Countrywide that violated my personal code of ethics, and I assumed that with the transition to Bank of America, this would stop. I assumed my concerns would be investigated and corrected. I assumed wrong.

Instead I got demoted and was retaliated against to the point where I was forced to quit my job to escape the harsh working conditions. They didn’t just let me walk away. They made an example out of me for everyone at the bank to see. On my final day working with the bank, Bank of America’s corporate security went so far as to call in a false bomb threat as a way to scare my former colleagues and friends from having any contact with me. These employees were kept in a building they were told was in danger of exploding. They were taken into bank offices, shown my picture, and told to confess and turn in any communications they’ve ever had with me, whether email, text, IM, or otherwise. Pictures of me were distributed to ensure every employee knew what happens to people who dare speak up against the bank. I have never been charged with any crime in connection with this incident, but my reputation was effectively ruined. People I once considered to be friends turned their backs on me for fear of being fired. Up until that point, I viewed myself simply as an honest man doing my job. I now realize that I am a whistleblower.

Life as a whistleblower is difficult. Nobody teaches you what to do. Everyone around you calls you crazy or treats you like you have a disease. I’ve faced many challenges, but I’ve learned a lot throughout my journey. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that Dodd-Frank is a vital piece of legislation. The whistleblower provisions in this act go a long way in protecting other whistleblowers from going through the pain and struggles I experienced. If you’re a bank employee and want to take a shot at receiving a whistleblower payout for being an honest person, here are a few tips I’ve learned:

Be Aware – The banks are so compartmentalized that you may not even realize you’re a part of a fraudulent system. From your perspective, you may just be putting a 3 in a field on a system. These are real people’s accounts you’re dealing with. That 3 does something. Find out what it is.

Search The Internet – Think of all the terms you use every day. Do an internet search for these words. Find out what they mean. Contact the journalists writing about them. You may know more than you think, but the only way you’ll ever find out is by talking to someone.

If You See Something Wrong, Document It – Blowing the whistle isn’t about telling the truth, it’s about proving the truth. Nobody knows how your section of the bank works except you. The more examples you have, the better.

Don’t Be Afraid – Intimidation is a common tactic used against whistleblowers. Stand up for what you believe in and never back down. Everyone around you will tell you it’s not worth the fight. I’ve walked that path, and I can assure you that it is.

Be Patient and Persistent – People may not listen when you first blow the whistle. It’s not that you’re wrong. No matter what position you work in a bank, you are an expert in a specific corner of finance that nobody understands except you and your coworkers. When I started nearly 2 years ago, I couldn’t find anyone who knew what Force-Placed Insurance was. I kept pushing, and now it’s a popular buzzword amongst mortgage regulators and journalists.

Act Immediately – The cafeterias and break rooms at the banks are filled with people complaining about issues that aren’t being fixed. You’re all waiting for someone else to fix this problem. That knight in shining armor is never coming. You are the only person who can fix this situation.

I used to work alongside you. Many of you know me and know that I was once just like you. Now there’s not a financial regulator, class action attorney, mortgage servicing executive, or journalist in this country that works with Force-Placed Insurance and doesn’t know my name. I may not have gotten a whistleblower bonus yet. I may never get one. I wasn’t lucky enough to have a guy like me to offer guidance. I am, however, a respected expert with a sought after opinion in my field. Most importantly I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. If you feel like there’s something missing in your life, it may just be the guilt of working for a company we both know is committing fraud. Call someone who cares. You know where to find me…

Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower, freelance consultant, and troll. He’s a frequent contributor to The Street, Cannabis Now, and Fast Company, Huffington Post, Mainstreet, Lifehack, and HardcoreDroid.

My Meeting with the FHFA

Three years ago, I would’ve given anything for someone in the media or government to listen to me. I figured out how the banks were fixing the system to make money off innocent American citizens, and I wanted someone to know. I thought if I let the media know, they’d be excited to report the fraud. I assumed telling the government would fix things. Then I became the media…

Now I’m a veteran blogger, syndicated throughout the web. Friday I officially became a very unique and high-level expert within the housing industry. After a long journey that forever changed who I am, how I view the world, and what matters to me, this morning, I finally had the ears of a room full of senior officials from the Federal Housing Finance Agency. Behind closed curtains, I told these people everything they needed to hear and I wanted so bad to tell someone who actually understood and could affect change. I feel like the weight of the world just fell off my shoulders.

Overnight Success

Pacing back and forth on the gf’s porch, I spoke to these people from the heart. It took 3 minutes to breeze through my credentials. This sounds like a lot of time, but for a whistleblower, there are easy trappings to fall into. I didn’t just wake up one day with the right answer for the right ears — I consorted with hackers, activists, journalists, and other assorted “deadbeats” to face cultists, drones, incarceration, death, being committed, and more trouble than it could possibly be worth. I walked through the fires of hell holding on to nothing more than my own sense of morality. I earned this call… and I played my position for every ounce it’s worth.

I outlined for them the problems with mismatched technology – how allowing the banks to consolidate and buy each other out the way they did created a work environment where a regulator would have to study, practice, and dig through dozens of computer software systems training manuals to even begin working on the financial transactions contained within them. I illustrated to them that when financial health inspectors came to check out the banks, they were served freshly prepared information… and never bothered to check the kitchen.

Too Big Not To Fail

The officials were very interested in what I had to say. They tested my knowledge in every way possible, but they talked to me as an equal — they showed me respect. I’ve talked to a lot of state and federal regulators; I’m no unknown in civil law circles either. A lot of these people think it’s OK to talk down to me, but the FHFA guys (and broads) were good. They understood and made it very clear they want to help. I naturally question anyone’s intentions, but I know I can’t control the outcome. Yoga, meditation, and conversations with my loved ones remind me to detach from the outcome. Whatever the government does with the information I gave them, I know I gave it my all, and I know I gave them the right answers.

I wish I could sit here today and tell you that I just affected a major change in the world — I solved the housing crisis, gave a fair way to punish those involved, and threw the banks (and with any luck, every corporation) under the same bus the average citizen is. I explained to them that Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac are responsible for maintaining the house the banks are gambling in. I detailed for them why force-placed insurance should be a service and not a product; how consumers deserve the same slap on the wrist for missing a payment that the banks get. I delved into every subject I wanted to say to the people I was saying it to if I ever had a chance to talk to them.

My at-bat may never be televised. I have no idea where the ball will land, and whether I’ll round the bases. All I know is I got a pitch right over the plate, so I closed my eyes, swung for the fences, and ran with it…

Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower, freelance consultant, and troll. He’s a frequent contributor to The Street, Cannabis Now, and Fast Company, Huffington Post, Mainstreet, Lifehack, and HardcoreDroid.

Herbalife, Isagenix, and The Scheme of Trolling

Supplements are a big business, but they may not be as big of a business as we’re led to believe by the earning reports of Herbalife and Isagenix. Both companies have had to defend themselves from murmurs of being pyramid schemes. However the allegations ultimately pan out, the back and forth discussion inspired me to troll these companies.

HuffPost Live Herbalife Expose

It was originally sparked by a HuffPost Live segment I watched back in March; Herbalife representatives swarmed the comment well, defending their multi-level marketing scheme from Bill Ackerman’s assertions the company is a pyramid scheme. The main point of debate was whether or not the company generates revenue from selling the product to users or regional sales teams.

Essentially, it looks as though Herbalife has a lot more sales than they do, because large portions of their technically unsold inventory has been paid for by their street sales team and is sitting in their garages and homes. These sales teams seemingly profit more from signing up sales reps to pay a fee for training materials and work under them.

This start-up fee became a point of contention for me, as I held a variety of sales jobs in my life, and, while salary and commission structures varied, they all paid me for my services. I never once had to pay up front. After a spirited back and forth on all fronts, I decided to conduct a little research and perform an experiment with Herbalife.

Researching Rip-Off Report

Whenever I want to check a company’s credibility, I search for any fraud or rip-offs. I googled “Herbalife Rip-off” and was presented with multiple complaints about the nefarious nature of the supplement. Isagenix, a a competitor with a strikingly similar business model, caught my eye as well. Reading through the complaints, it was clear that, like Amway before them, these companies were wasting people’s time and money.

The problem is a pyramid scheme looks exactly like a pyramid, which would be a legitimate business in this scenario. Pinpointing the difference between a pyramid and pyramid scheme while also attempting to squeeze out a living seemed a difficult task, but I was willing to take it on.

Affiliation with Amazon

I decided to check Amazon for Herbalife and Isagenix products. As a blogger, I work with Amazon Affiliates to attempt to generate revenue. The program is free, and you’re given the ability to build referral links, banners, etc. for pretty much anything sold on the online retail giant’s site. Lo and behold, they carried both Herbalife and Isagenix.

Seizing the opportunity, I crafted careful responses to the rip-off complaints for both companies throughout the internet. In each response, I included an Amazon Affiliate link, which an explanation that I can sell Herbalife/Isagenix for free and earn a commission, and this is why they’re a pyramid scheme.

On top of this, you don’t even have to purchase the product in the link directly – anything you put in your cart during the session you started from my link will generate a commission for me when you complete the order. This means when an Herbalife rep fails to sell any of their inventory, they’re sitting at a loss, whereas I have no overhead, and it doesn’t matter what you purchase.

The Payout

I do quite a bit of trolling online, and it’s often difficult to predict which ones will stick or make any impact. Nearly six months later, though, I’m still getting over 100 clicks per month off these ads, and still no one has bought either product. It does, however, increase my overall Amazon Affiliates pot, as occasionally I get a random purchase of another product from these links.

The success of these affiliate links doesn’t appear to be waning anytime soon, either, as Herbalife representatives have been happy to attack me in the comments wherever my links are posted, keeping consistent traffic flowing through. The inability to sell Herbalife has become one of my strongest online ads over the long run.

Trolling is often portrayed as a criminal act by law enforcement and media, but sometimes trolling can be used for the power of good. Trolling as a marketing ploy, however, is something I only recently discovered. I encourage you to continue finding ways to creatively troll people to make them think.

Want more? Check out The Art of Trolling…

Brian Penny is a former Operations Manager and Business Analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower. He’s a frequent contributor to The Street, Huffington Post, Cannabis Now, and Fast Company.

15 Ways to Change the World More Effectively Than Voting

“If voting made a difference, they’d make it illegal.” – Mark Twain

Washington, D.C. (Main Street) – Like the Olympics, every few years I’m inundated with government propaganda telling me to go to a church somewhere to pick up a pencil and fill out some ridiculous sheet to decide who I want to watch not listen to me for the next couple years.

“Get out and vote!” they scream at you, telling you this is the one time in which you must make your voice heard. What I can’t help but wonder is – why?

See Also: 6 Cool Things Voters Can Get for Free

If media reports are true, than Edward Snowden leaked proof that our government is archiving our every thought via our digital presence. If they already know what I’m thinking, what good is my vote?

This is clearly a flaw in the system, because my government should already be doing what I want them to, by virtue of the amount of data they have saved on me. Don’t even get me started on the statistical odds of your vote actually making a difference. Slate nailed it with this formula – you’re better off playing the lottery. There have to be better ways to change the world.

See Also: PA Man Throws Away $1.25 Million in Lottery Tickets

1. Create a Fake Facebook Account

Opting out of Facebook is a bad idea; they’ll simply find you through pictures on your friends’ timelines. If you never had a Facebook account, you should know a few years ago Facebook’s facial recognition software noticed nobody labeled you in pictures and started asking your friends who you are. I never snitched on nobody…but you’re in a LOT of pictures.

Much like how the Google captchas tricked us into helping their cars identify house numbers they drove by, these corporations are learning who we are, and, at a time when privacy concerns of both celebrities and private citizens are reaching astronomical highs, you can change the world more than voting simply by creating a fake Facebook page.

Use your pictures and fake everything else. Hell – create as many Facebook pages as you can using every email address you ever used logged in from as many different IP’s as you can proxy. Flood the system with your information, and create dozens of people that look just like you. You may not have mutant powers, but you can certainly trick the machine into thinking so.

See Also: Is Facebook Stealing Your Face?

2. Check Twitter Every Day and Tweet Every Hashtag

Now that Twitter is a public IPO (which is much different than the story your marijuana dealer is telling you), the media clearly has an interest in twat is tweeted by tweeps and twits. From revolutions in government to feeding Ryan Seacrest’s inevitable replacement every weekday @midnight, what you tweet can twuly make a differenthe.

Instead of buying a bumper sticker every four-to-eight years to prove you made your voice heard, make it heard every single day. Contribute to the polls that actually matter, which are the instantaneous ones all over the Internet, granting temporary fame to even the most obscure rendition of “Chocolate Rain.”

Twitter sparked overthrows of government in Egypt, Syria, and around the world. When was the last time something you voted for came true?

See Also: Move to One of America’s Funniest Cities

3. Lie on Your LinkedIn Profile

You absolutely should lie on your LinkedIn profile, and it’s made even easier when you have the multiple email and Facebook accounts listed above. I have dozens of accounts everywhere I go, each woven into different related or unrelated circles. You never know when you may need an extra because some asshole reported you (don’t even get me started at how far Wikipedia goes in blocking IP’s).

If people are doing background checks, having a solid LinkedIn profile helps, and people who can corroborate the story makes things easier. Create accounts and fan the right industry insiders. Then start adding low-level schmucks anywhere you’re allowed to. Soon enough, you’ll have created directors of companies who can back up any claim you make for having done anything for any small business you choose anywhere in the world.
Unlocking Job Search God Mode is helpful, but you need to wield this great power with great responsibility. Now go get a job!

See Also: Why Wikipedia Should Be Your New LinkedIn

4. Meditate

There was a point where Bush, Clinton, even Obama, could have just sat down and literally done nothing, and it would have been more beneficial to our country’s well-being than the actions they took instead. This is true of anyone you remember. Had Robin Williams chosen at that last moment to do nothing instead, he’d still be around, making us all smile.

Had Hitler done nothing, the Jews wouldn’t have remembered that penniless artist. There are times when indifference and/or doing nothing is much more effective than doing something. Everything is tracked. It always has been, but now we’re grappling with an understanding of it. This means you’re making as much of a statement by not voting as you would if you did vote. Not voting is a much more effective way to exercise your rights. I didn’t vote in 2012, because I was busy working on What I Told the FHFA. What’s your excuse for not voting?

5. Take a Nap

Now that we established taking time for yourself is more beneficial to the overall of society than casting your vote in any election, it’s time to recharge your body. Sleeping benefits you in a variety of ways.

Need help sleeping? Try The Most Boring Day in History

Either way, you’re taking yourself out of the moment. If you try to meditate and fall asleep instead, it’s because your body needed the rest. When you wake up from your nap, you’ll have done so much more to change the world around you than voting ever would’ve accomplished. Now you’re ready to face the world with a smile J

See Also: Should Offices Allow Nap Time?

6. Buy a Ribbon

If you want to make your voice heard, veterans, breast cancer patients, and others could use your support in helping raise awareness by purchasing more ribbons. Of course, then you need to pay the people marketing the ribbons, and the street teams, which are of course going to need management.

You want those street teams to have great management to ensure this great charity is able to still raise awareness for whatever it is because in order to attract the best talent to compete in this kind of flooded charity market, you need to pay top-tier prices, or at least something in a decent range, you know, because a CEO, and a CFO, and at least a dozen territory managers – that stuff doesn’t come cheap.

So If you want to continue ensuring there is awareness that cancer and war still exists, in case anyone forgot, go ahead and buy yourself a ribbon. It’s a much better investment than that “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Roseanne” bumper sticker.

7. Find an Alternative to Wal-Mart

If you truly wanted to make a statement, you’d stop shopping at Wal-Mart. Not only that, you’d protest them every single day until they closed shop and left your town. Every purchase you make at Wal-Mart is going against everything you say you believe in and pretend you believe in when you check boxes to decide the face of issues you don’t care about for the next term.

Instead of wasting even one single thought about where you cast your vote, take a long, hard look at the realities of where you cast your dollar. Too many people shop at Wal=Mart, and it doesn’t matter how many disabled or elderly they keep hovering inches above the street.

8. Stop Eating at McDonald’s

While we’re at it, let’s all take a moment to remember when McDonald’s tasted like In and Out. Now that it doesn’t, this place should be closed. There’s no reason all that real estate these corporations own has to be used giving us glitchy and half-assed versions of products.

Do you remember when Taco Bell had that 59, 79, 99 jungle in the 90s? A taco at Taco Bell now is over a dollar. That tiny taco costs more than over half of  McDonald’s Poverty Menu.

Think about the complaints about their working conditions. Think about how much insect and mold you’re actually eating. Think about how much sugar, fat, and artificial dog-food-grade food-like product you’re consuming in fast food.

If you want to make a difference, you can never eat at McDonalds. Ever again. Not even once. Not even for free. Not even if you’re starving and there’s nothing else around. That will make much more of a difference and a statement in our world than some silly vote.

9. Engage with a Homeless Person

You’re aware there was a housing bubble, and you know the banks cheated people, but you still are so busy begging some unknowable deity for help that you haven’t even bothered to give anything to the homeless. Imagine you gave a dollar to every single homeless person you saw. If you did this every day instead of smoking, drinking coffee, or whatever vice you have, you could change their lives and the world.

What do you care what they spend it on? What do you care how much they make? I’m homeless and live in a van, and while I don’t make more than you yet, I’m working on it. If you give me a dollar, it’s never your business where that dollar goes. I have you moral obligation toward you. I’d probably even track you home and piss on your car. Of course, I don’t panhandle often. I’ve just known plenty who do.

10. Quit Your Job

If you work for a company like Bank of America, you should seriously quit. We all know you’re doing something wrong, and you know it too. You’re convinced that things are complicated and the media doesn’t understand, but we do understand. We’re just trying to prove it. If you quit your job and simply refused to do it any longer, you’d make an impact, especially if you organized groups to do it.

Remember the first follower is the most powerful person in a movement. Check out the video:

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So if you quit your job and tell them Brian Penny told you to do it, you’ll become the first follower of my movement, and it’ll make much more of a difference than any vote ever did. I just know you’re too scared to ever do it, because your cubicle is important to your sense of comfort.

11. Murder Someone

You don’t need to become a jihadist or serial killer to murder someone. You can join the army, law enforcement, or a rapper’s entourage to get some confirmed killings under your belt. Think of how many people death has stopped throughout history? Imagine how different the world would have been had some of them never died, or if they died before they could accomplish their goals.

Will writing this inspire one of you deranged lunatics to kill me? Maybe. But if I let fear run my life, I never would’ve survived this long.

12. Have Sex

Passing your genetics down to create another generation of your bloodline will change your future more than every vote you cast in your entire life. The only way you’re going to find a relationship and love that’s solid enough to build a family on, you’ll need to be either sexually confident or in a religion where women have no choice.

You can exercise your freedoms, improve your health, and make the changes Michael Jackson practically pleaded with you to make with the man in the mirror if you would just get out and have more sex.

13 Ask Your Kid to Explain the World to You

Instead of telling anyone what your views are by casting a vote, why not ask your kid what their views are? It may be rough at first, but establishing or re-establishing an interpersonal connection can go much further than some silly vote ever will.

14. Go to College

Attending higher education gives you direct access to borrow money from the government. You can take thousands of government dollars every year and show those fat cats in Washington how to truly spend money. You’re not even paying interest on the subsidized loans, so long as you stay in school.

Even if you do pay interest, it’ll either go to support the government or the banks. These funds will be used to build schools, repair roads, and fund so many important government functions and will benefit society much more than voting.

In college, you’ll also be swayed to go one step further by voting for a nonsense candidate like Ron or Rand Paul, or Bart Simpson.

What do you do that’s more useful than voting?

Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower, freelance consultant, and troll. He’s a frequent contributor to The Street, Huffington Post, Cannabis Now, and Fast Company.

A Pervert’s Peak at Privacy

Nestled away in the rocky mountains surrounding Hwy 82 near Aspen, CO, there’s a hot springs along the Colorado River, which is well known in the area. A tramp outside the McDonald’s explained to me that savvy locals know the terrain above the hot springs well, referring to it as Pervert’s Peak.

Above the hot springs is a forested mountain that’s pitch black at night. People hang out both at and above the steamy waters late at night, looking for steamy ways to heat up their lives for a brief moment.

While tourists and younger locals service each other among the coves and crags providing cover from prying eyes, the old, wise local travelers watch from hidden lookout points above. Hearing this story instantly fascinated me.

Pre-Coming

Before my trip to Aspen, a younger me took a vacation with friends to Lake Havasu in Arizona. I rented a car and drove out at night, which I’ve found to work out better for driving in the middle of the desert, leaving Phoenix.

I had to exit the highway near the lake, but it was a dirt road, and only had one sign. This was Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road incarnate. I drove through rough terrain through ditches and at the edge of cliffs to arrive at a hidden housing area at the back of the lake with an air strip.

The spot is a favorite among recreational pilots, as they have vacation homes geared with all the outdoor essentials. My childhood friend Ryan married a coworker from California. Her dad and his friends are well known among the local adventurers.

These men heard I wanted to see some hot women, so they took us on lake tours on their toys, and as we’re speeding off in a boat, I hear,

“Hey, Brian. Catch!”

I looked up in time to have a top-of-the-line Canon SLR camera flying at my face.

“Hot women at 3 o’clock,” he said.

After fumbling a bit, I turned the camera on and familiarized myself with the zoom lens. Peering through and looking where he pointed, I saw an HD-enhanced image of the most beautifully tanned bikini ass I ever saw in my life. I instantly realized I wasn’t watching porn online.
I’m holding an old man’s toy in another man’s toy playing games with two generations of my childhood friend’s in-laws. Sensing my realization, the old man smiled and nodded at me.

“Wait’ll you see the grotto coming up.”

Just around the corner, we came across a grotto. The locals and well-travelled know this grotto is rather far from the night crowds, so groups of young people come out for romance on the water. What they don’t know is directly above them are old men with toys, watching, filming, and pleasuring themselves.

If you think it’s just the NSA watching you, you haven’t been watching everyone else. Everyone snoops…and it’s all fun and games until they’re snooping on you…

Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower, freelance consultant, and troll. He’s a frequent contributor to The Street, Huffington Post, Cannabis Now, and Fast Company.

The Perils of Not Paying for Insurance

I unfortunately spent a large portion of my 20’s working in collateral loan insurance tracking. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, you’re not alone – I spent the better part of my 30’s explaining it to regulators. The general idea is any time you have a loan on a collateral (i.e., a car loan or mortgage), you have certain insurance requirements to maintain throughout the life of the loan.

If you don’t maintain your insurance, third-party vendors, such as QBE First and Assurant, Inc., find the deficiency on your loan and force-place an expensive, proprietary brand of collateral protection insurance on it. Your taxes and insurance is escrowed, and any existing escrow account is emptied, as the premium for this force-placed insurance policy is applied to your monthly loan payments, skyrocketing them beyond your means to pay.

You soon find yourself in foreclosure, using public transportation to make ends meet because your car was repossessed as well. My team queried certain parameters within big data in order to find loans such as yours, and we were the best of the best. If you anyone money for your car or home, be aware of these insurance flags on the backend tracking system:

1. Maintain Minimum Contractual Limits

If you refinance your home, pay attention to the insurance limits on your mortgage. You may be required to keep your insurance up to the property value, rather than the loan balance. Refinancing at the right time may gain you equity, but if you don’t raise your insurance coverage to match, you’ll find yourself saddled with a force-placed insurance policy.

2. Monitor Monthly Statements

If there’s a problem with your loan, it’ll usually be indicated on your monthly statement. Pay close attention to every correspondence sent by your lending institution, loan servicer,  or bank. Like cancer, if you catch an escrow, interest, or insurance hiccup early, you can cut it off before it spreads.

3. Keep All Documents

Always have all your loan and insurance information saved in chronological order. You need to maintain records in order to prove you have insurance. It doesn’t matter until disaster strikes, and when you’re in an accident or your neighborhood is flooded, you’ll be glad you can prove your insurance coverage.

4. Never Trust Your Bank

Banks are great for keeping money safe, but they don’t necessarily care whose money it is they’re keeping. If you don’t keep an eye on your financial institutions, they’ll charge you every fee in the book because “that’s the fee for doing business, sir/ma’am.”

Banks routinely do business behind the scenes. You can be a perfect customer, and your loan can change hands, completely changing your loan terms without your knowledge. The mail forwarding could have a hiccup, and you could wind up with a lost payment and lose your home over an internal bank mistake.

Keep an eye on your statements, and maintain insurance. Always make sure your bank and insurance company are aware of each other. Take the precautions up front to avoid a costly financial and emotional loss down the road.

Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower, freelance consultant, and troll. He’s a frequent contributor to The Street, Huffington Post, Cannabis Now, and Fast Company.

5 Tips to Earn More Money Blogging

I’ve been a full-time blogger for about seven months now, and it’s been quite the journey. Earning money as a professional writer is about just about everything except writing. Sure it’s important to have solid content, but that’s just the beginning. Solid content nobody sees is like the noise a tree makes falling in the woods when nobody hears it…except nobody knows about you to even question what you’re saying…

In order to start a blog, either sign up at Blogger, or select a WordPress Hosting Service. Once you have a blog, here are five lessons I learned about how to make money blogging…

1 — Promote Your Blog…

If you never tell anyone about your blog, nobody will ever see it. You have to post links to it everywhere. The more links you get out, the more people will visit your blog, the more people will read your blog and subscribe to your blog. When people read it and like it, they’ll promote it as well, giving you strong word-of-mouth marketing buzz. Facebook is a great place to market your blog. With ads on your site, each view earns you a fraction of a penny, but those add up. This brings me to the next tip…

2 — Advertise on Your Blog…

Ads are a pain in the ass as a user, but as a professional blogger (i.e. a blogger who makes money) they’re your revenue stream. Sign up with various advertiser affiliate services, and place a variety of ads within your site. Placing unmasked (i.e. not hidden or shortened with a URL-shortening service) ads throughout your blogs will help you create much needed revenue.

There are three types of advertisements you should be aware of as a blogger. I’m going to use Amazon as an example, because their affiliate program is intuitive and vital for any blogger’s toolkit…

Embedded Text — Embedded text links are placed on relevant text to direct web users to a specific site or product like this link for Amazon Prime. Embedded text links have a low click-per-view ratio, but, when combined with a link-shortening service like Bit.ly, text links (especially Amazon, who people tend not to block) can bypass user’s ad blocking software. When leveraged correctly, these links can also boost your site’s SEO rankings.

http://rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/cm?t=atho017-20&o=1&p=26&l=ur1&category=primeent&banner=0Z17THSPYXCS0FZB7YR2&f=ifr

Banner Links – The link above (which has likely been removed) is a banner link. Banner links are picture, gif, or video ads that visually entice readers to click on them. As these ads are more flashy, they get more clicks than text links, but they are often blocked by users with ad-blocking software and browser add-ons. In addition, many ads won’t display properly on mobile devices.

Content Marketing – The most effective method of marketing on your blog is content marketing. Seeing a link or ad is one thing; reading a review or endorsement of a product is entirely different. People like to know what products other people are using, and since the gf and I hate Walmart for reasons both ethical and hygienic, Amazon Prime’s free 2-day shipping is quite useful.

3 – Network with Other Bloggers…

Speaking of meaningful endorsements, there are other bloggers out in the blogosphere. They’re building a following themselves, and being friendly with them will produce varied results. Some bloggers I’ve met have invited me to write guest posts. Others have mentioned me in blogs or given me a s/o on social media. Every link counts (this is especially true when starting out), so get out there and start meeting people. You’ll open yourself up to new ideas and perspectives, and it’s always nice to meet someone new.

4 – Ghostwrite for Other People…

Ghostwriting is a little scary when you think about it: sounding authoritative is difficult enough – doing it in someone else’s voice is close to impossible. When I finally decided to try my hand at ghostwriting, I found that it was actually difficult, but it was a good thing. It challenged me to improve. It made me a better writer…it pushed my per-word rate over $1.00, which, if I can maintain it for a full year, will skyrocket me to the top of the blogger earning pile. Speaking of improving your writing…

5 – Join a Content Mill…

Working for a content mill isn’t glamorous, and it doesn’t pay well. It’s steady work, though, and you’ll get consistent emails with story ideas from the assignment desks of top media companies. You may get paid $10-30 to write a post a week, but you’ll also have dozens of ideas for your own blog. Some content mills will even allow you to post your affiliate ads or links to your blog, which improve your blog’s SEO status.

By following these five tips, you’ll be well on your way to earning more money from your blog. If you have any questions or need any clarification, please feel free to leave them in the comments below, tweet me, or contact me on my blog…

Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower, freelance consultant, and troll. He’s a frequent contributor to The Street, Huffington Post, Cannabis Now, and Fast Company.